My final post of this pregnancy...
I am unsure where to start with this post. I have had such a flood of emotion today (not to mention that I am incredibly tired) that I am unsure that I can even put the thoughts together....but I'm going to try. I will, of course, continue the blog after baby boy is born, but this is the last post while being pregnant with Baby D.
Friday evening I began having contractions. They were pretty far apart (15-20 minutes) but were fairly strong. I went to bed thinking that I could drive myself crazy worrying about it, so I tried to sleep and figured either I would have to get up cause "it was time" or I would wake up and time them again later. Turns out that I got little to no sleep that night because the contractions kept coming at about 15 minutes and Elliott couldn't sleep because she had developed a snotty nose. :( It was a rough night for sure. I continued to have contractions all day Saturday and I thought for sure that Baby D was coming, to the point where I called the on call dr and asked about insulin doses. And then they stopped. No really - they stopped. On the upside, I was able to sleep Saturday night. But I was definitely disappointed.
Today we met with all of my doctors and had some very real conversations. My bp was elevated again and that with a few other things has led to the decision that on Thursday, as in 3 more days from now, I will have a c-section and baby D will officially join us. Cue flood of emotion. In many ways I am so excited I could pop. I get to meet my sweet boy in just a few days! I know I won't be delivering on the weekend (which was a concern after having Elliott) so I know I will have more support after delivery. This is so exciting!
On the other hand, I would be wrong to say that I am totally okay with the decision. I have been having a rough time, more like grieving if you will, because of the loss of experience. I am sad that I won't have the vbac experience, and that I have to go through major surgery again, and that it will be longer before I can return to the way things normally are in regards to Elliott. I am worried how having another csection will effect breastfeeding, especially because I had such a rough time with it with Elliott.
I know that in the end, things will be fine. I have been through this before and I know what to expect. Even so, I still have to allow myself the time to grieve for the fact that things aren't going to go the way I had hoped. There has to be time allowed for those feelings so that I can move on and be at peace.
Tomorrow we have a crazy day planned (pre planned actually) that includes a grooming appointment for Samson (have you seen him? He is CrAzY shaggy), library toddler time, a dr appt for me with a dr here locally that will manage my diabetes postpartum, the Tuesday noon Bible study for Matthew, and of course, Connect tomorrow night. Wednesday we will make our final preparations and travel to Louisville to prepare for Thursday. I am so excited to share this pregnancy journey with you. We ask for your prayers over the next few days. We can't wait to share pictures ( and his name!) with you and to simply celebrate our baby boy.
Friday evening I began having contractions. They were pretty far apart (15-20 minutes) but were fairly strong. I went to bed thinking that I could drive myself crazy worrying about it, so I tried to sleep and figured either I would have to get up cause "it was time" or I would wake up and time them again later. Turns out that I got little to no sleep that night because the contractions kept coming at about 15 minutes and Elliott couldn't sleep because she had developed a snotty nose. :( It was a rough night for sure. I continued to have contractions all day Saturday and I thought for sure that Baby D was coming, to the point where I called the on call dr and asked about insulin doses. And then they stopped. No really - they stopped. On the upside, I was able to sleep Saturday night. But I was definitely disappointed.
Today we met with all of my doctors and had some very real conversations. My bp was elevated again and that with a few other things has led to the decision that on Thursday, as in 3 more days from now, I will have a c-section and baby D will officially join us. Cue flood of emotion. In many ways I am so excited I could pop. I get to meet my sweet boy in just a few days! I know I won't be delivering on the weekend (which was a concern after having Elliott) so I know I will have more support after delivery. This is so exciting!
On the other hand, I would be wrong to say that I am totally okay with the decision. I have been having a rough time, more like grieving if you will, because of the loss of experience. I am sad that I won't have the vbac experience, and that I have to go through major surgery again, and that it will be longer before I can return to the way things normally are in regards to Elliott. I am worried how having another csection will effect breastfeeding, especially because I had such a rough time with it with Elliott.
I know that in the end, things will be fine. I have been through this before and I know what to expect. Even so, I still have to allow myself the time to grieve for the fact that things aren't going to go the way I had hoped. There has to be time allowed for those feelings so that I can move on and be at peace.
Tomorrow we have a crazy day planned (pre planned actually) that includes a grooming appointment for Samson (have you seen him? He is CrAzY shaggy), library toddler time, a dr appt for me with a dr here locally that will manage my diabetes postpartum, the Tuesday noon Bible study for Matthew, and of course, Connect tomorrow night. Wednesday we will make our final preparations and travel to Louisville to prepare for Thursday. I am so excited to share this pregnancy journey with you. We ask for your prayers over the next few days. We can't wait to share pictures ( and his name!) with you and to simply celebrate our baby boy.
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