Unpacking the Heart

Today marks 13 weeks.  Baby is about the size of a peach and is developing eyes and vocal chords.  I have been feeling more movement from baby this week, especially right after I eat.  Baby likes food as much as I do!   haha.  This week has been the onset of two of my favorite pregnancy symptoms (sarcasm) extreme hormonal emotions and the tailbone shift!  This last week has been allllllllll the emotions as we traveled, prepared for and celebrated Christmas, but even still my tears have flowed oh so easily, over nothing.  Isn't this why I take anxiety meds?  So I can keep this under control? As for the tailbone, it was the major source of discomfort in my other two pregnancies and I knew it would catch up to me sooner or later this pregnancy.  For the last two pregnancies I have carried around a cushion that helps relieve the pain when I sit (so if you see me with my cushion, don't make fun) so, I went to grab my cushion which had been co...

Here we are...sliding into the second trimester.  Baby is the size of a large plum and is working on developing that digestive system.  I have been able to feel baby move this week, which is really neat and crazy considering how early it is in the pregnancy.  Just a few flips every now and then just to make sure I'm paying attention!  Last Thursday I checked in with everyone on my team, as I call it, my regular OB, nutritionist and the MFM OB.  It was my first time meeting this MFM OB and I was a bit concerned about how it would go, since I definitely have my own ideas about how I want this pregnancy to progress, but she seemed to understand my fears and what fueled them, and seems to be willing to work with me.  This made me feel SO much better.  Much more reasonable than the Dr I saw last pregnancy....they were crazy!  The nutritionist seemed pleased enough with my glucose readings and didn't adjust my insulin, which I totally feel like is a w...

Today starts week 11 and sadly that means I am 1/4 of the way through this pregnancy.  How can that be already?  Baby is the size of a lime this week and apparently is growing fingers and toes!  It is starting to wiggle around in there and today I was able to feel a little of its movements...earlier than either of my other babies.  This week has been a little better in the glucose department, numbers are a little more consistent and I am finding a new stride with the insulin.  Hopefully we maintain this through the rest of pregnancy, but I won't hold my breath.  Baby has wanted Fazoli's breadsticks and Christmas tree cakes, neither of which are good for diabetic mama....but both are OH SO tasty!  hahaha.  I am officially down 20 pounds!  Hopefully I can keep it off once baby arrives.  Will. Power. Tomorrow I have a trifecta of appointments, starting with an ultrasound, meeting with the MFM dr, nutritionist, and my regular OB.  I...

According to the "What to Expect" app, at 10 weeks the baby changes status from embryo to fetus, is nearly an inch and a half long, and it's bones and cartilage are beginning to form.  According to my pants my belly is rapidly expanding.  haha.  This week I have noticed some changes in symptoms that mostly pertain to appetite and my eating.  I have been craving foods but when I eat said food, I immediately feel nauseated, but haven't gotten sick.  This is all well and good, but if you know anything about insulin use/diabetes, you give yourself the dosage before you eat based on the amount of carbs you plan to consume, so if you don't eat all of the planned carbs, bad things happened.  I have been through this process several times this last week.  Having a low glucose is honestly one of the most terrible feelings I have ever had and no matter if it is the first time you have felt that way or the thirtieth, it never gets any better.  I have had m...

If you are choosing to follow me here again (or for the first time) during this pregnancy, thank you.  I found that I love going back and reading past entries about my other pregnancies and think "oh yeah!  There is a reason I blocked that out!"  haha.  I was debating on whether or not to keep this going through this pregnancy but I think I would be terribly disappointed later on if I choose not to, so here I go.  Yesterday I hit  9 weeks with baby number three.  I am officially (unofficially?) due July 4th, with the understanding that since this will definitely be a CSection I will deliver most likely near the end of June.  Firecracker (my pet name for this one) is the size of a grape (ish).  I was able to hear a good strong heartbeat at my last dr. appointment and all seems to be going well with baby.  So far I haven't had any nausea (hallelujah!) and have only thrown up a couple of times while trying to brush my teeth.  I am ...

Today is my birthday and I totally did the mature thing and deleted off of FB a few days ago and took away everyone's ability to post on my wall...seems reasonable.  I have always loved my birthday, I still do, but this year something feels....different.  Maybe it is that I am getting older, maybe it is because my anxiety/depression has a little more of a hold on me, maybe it is because I really just want to hear from those who truly love and care for me.  Being a pastor's wife is hard.  There are always many people around, but it is still incredibly lonely.  Most faces are acquaintances, or polite at a distance, but aren't interested in any deeper of a relationship.  Some care but feel that the differences in age, or life stages, is too vast.  Those that are near my age and life stage have their own friends and family that live nearby...it is very hard to break into those circles.  Tack onto that I am an introvert with confidence issues...and rem...